There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
