whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
