I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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