i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
