i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
