i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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