So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
