Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
BRING THE BAGELS
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
