Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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