I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion