I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
