yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
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then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.