Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
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Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.