She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish I could punch you in the face.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
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He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
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That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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