At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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