rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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