Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
