I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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