she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I need moral support for this bender
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize