....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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