if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
