when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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