why do cheetos always look like penises
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
