The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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