He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
