i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
