dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
