4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize