Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he shaved USA in his pubs
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Someone signed my nipple.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
