mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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