so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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