I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Girls should come with a carfax report
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
