im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
