Umm I'm too high to move.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
