We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
