After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
