I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
