I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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