Where did you get a picture of my penis
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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