smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
