It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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