My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
