Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
