Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
