I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
