awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
