I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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