i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You may now shotgun with the bride
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
