I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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