Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you will always have a special place in my vag
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize