i can't believe i had my finger in that
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You are the jesus of drinking
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize