Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
