I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
