we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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