I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
