If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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