I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
