on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
