that's an acceptable place to lick
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
