I can tuck mytits in my pants
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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