In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
