Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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